“When the line between horror and hilarity blurs, laughter becomes their only weapon in the face of fear!”
Watch the original version of Scary Movie 2
Prologue:
“Rumor has it he still walks these grounds at night…” whispered the tour guide, shining his flashlight onto the looming façade of Hell House. A collective gasp rose from the pack of tourists, their eyes wide and intrigued. The guide, dressed in a faded Victorian garb, and with a flair for dramatic pauses, continued his eerie tale, “They say, every echo, every creak, every whisper you hear when night falls, is him, watching, waiting…”
The guide’s tales might have been macabre, were it not for the audible snickers that punctuated his narrative. They belonged to a group of young students from the local community college, who, having heard the legends ad nauseam, could barely suppress their laughter. They served as a reminder of the house’s newest incarnation, not as a place of dread, but as a setting for a comedy of terrors, where fear was camouflaged in laughter.
***
Chapter 1: “The Unexpected Invitation”
Edison Community College had a reputation for unforgettable field trips, but no one saw this one coming. A sleep deprivation study conducted in a haunted mansion was enough to make any student’s heart flutter, either with fear or unadulterated excitement. Whispers and rumors spread across the campus like wildfire when the news broke out. The ‘Hell House’ was no stranger to them, having been a subject of countless tales, pranks, and dares. But no one had ever spent the night. Not till now.
In the lead was Dr. Slaughter, a peculiar character with wild hair, spectacles perched precariously on the tip of his nose, and a penchant for the unusual. His office, cluttered with strange artifacts and antiquated research, was a testament to his eccentric interests. He was nothing if not unpredictable, and for this study, he had picked a motley crew of students.
Jasmine, the college cheerleader, squealed with delight when she received her invitation. Her boyfriend, Luke, the college’s star quarterback, was worried, but he put on a brave face. Then there was Veronica, the goth chick with a sarcastic comment always ready on her lips, and her best friend, Fred, the comically geeky science whiz. The group was completed by Sam, a film buff with dreams of making it big in Hollywood, and Adele, an introverted artist with a love for the macabre.
One by one, they received their invites, each with a personalized note from Dr. Slaughter. “Embrace the darkness, and let the shadows be your guide,” he wrote to Adele. To Sam, he suggested, “A real-life haunted house, a perfect stage for your future masterpiece.” The notes were as bizarre as the man himself, adding to the strange allure of this adventure.
As they packed their bags and mentally prepared themselves to step into their nightmares, their intrigue was tinged with a sense of playful dread. This was not just another field trip. They were walking into the mouth of a laughing ghost, armed with nothing but their courage and their quick wit.
Who would have thought that a study on sleep deprivation would thrust them into a world where laughter echoed louder than screams, and where the only way to confront horror was with a joke? They had signed up for a study; what they got instead was a front-row seat in a comedy of horrors, where every dark corner held a surprise, every whisper was a punchline, and every bump in the night was a set-up for laughs.
The Hell House was about to witness a night unlike any other, filled with strange occurrences and stranger reactions. The group of students, each eccentric in their way, were about to turn the house of horrors into a stage for their comedy. In a place where fear was supposed to reign, laughter would take over, making the unexpected invitation to Hell House the beginning of an unforgettable, hilariously frightening journey.
Chapter 2: “Haunted Hysterics”
The false security of daylight had long faded; the long, twisted shadows prowled the corners of the ‘Hell House’. The ominous night brought with it a spectral spectacle that left the students wide awake, shattering all plans of Dr. Slaughter’s sleep deprivation study. And it wasn’t just the ghastly figures lurking in the shadows that kept them up; it was the seemingly unending bouts of hilarity that punctuated their fear with absurd bursts of laughter.
The first to encounter the paranormal pranks was Cheryl, the Goth girl with a skeptical perspective about everything. Finding her worst fears coming to life, she found herself face to face with an wailing phantom, its eerie presence filling her with terror. Yet, in her fright, she tripped over her own gothic boots and tumbled into a bucket, causing the ghost to vanish as if terrified of her clumsiness. Cheryl’s ludicrously horrified expression made the others burst into guffaws, turning the spinning dread into laughter that echoed through the halls of Hell House.
Then there was Drew, the jock with a heart of gold but braver in mind than in reality. Wandering the dark corridors, he stumbled upon a floating chain. Horrified yet fascinated, Drew followed it, only to land face first into a decadently frosted cake, laid out in the grand dining room. The once terrifying chain now seemed to have a sweet tooth! Drew’s cake-covered horror-struck face was a sight to witness, inviting a fresh round of laughter that brightened the haunted house.
Meanwhile, Anne, the self-proclaimed psychic in the group, found herself levitating while in a spiritual trance. As she floated around in what she considered a profound experience, she knocked over the ancient suit of armor. The clanging, coupled with her surprised yelps, had the others doubling in laughter. The piecing together of the ‘spiritually-guided trip’ and her dreamy expression added a certain inexplicable humor to the already chaotic scene.
And then there was poor Jay, the self-aware nerd of the group who knew all about horror tropes but still fell victim to them. He found himself cornered by a poltergeist, yet in his attempt to adopt a ‘heroic stance’, slipped on his own glasses and crashed into a pile of laundry which uncannily resembled a monster. Even the spirit seemed to chuckle at his comical fall.
As the eerie hours turned into dawn, the sleepless night had birthed an unusual camaraderie among the students. Their initial fear of the house and its spectral occupants had transformed into a shared sense of humor. It was as though the house with its ghostly dwellers, instead of inducing terror, played the role of an unconventional comedian. The laughter echoed louder than the screams in the dark as they found amusement in their own reactions, and comedic misunderstandings turned their fear into a shared hilarity.
In the arcane setting of the Hell House, the absurdity of the situation had managed to convert horror into humor. The haunted antics of the spectral residents, instead of triggering shivers and dread, incited ripples of laughter. The students realized fear was only as horrifying as they allowed it to be. As the night turned into day, they collectively decided, there was something funny about being scared. After all, comedy really was tragedy – or in this case, horror – plus time.
‘Scared out of their wits’ had taken on a whole new meaning for the group. As the dawn arrived, they found themselves not just wide awake due to alleged hauntings but rejuvenated with laughter, ready for another day of ‘Haunted Hysterics’ at the Hell House. The ‘Hell House’ seemed less of a nightmare and more like a comedy club they never signed up for, but were now glad they did!
Chapter 3: “Boisterous Butler, Brutish Hand”
The sun had barely risen over the ominous silhouette of Hell House when the group began to hear peculiar noises echoing down the grand hallways. The mysterious cacophony was an amalgamation of clangs, crashes, and the odd, guttural grunt. As the source of the din made its staggering way into the room, the students couldn’t help but gasp in a mix of surprise and amusement.
Enter Hanson, the eccentric, one-handed butler whose distinct lack of dexterity became the central point of most actions he undertook. With just his left hand, a stump for a right arm, and an undying can-do spirit, Hanson transformed even the most ordinary household chores into calamitous slapstick. The girth of his right stump was disproportionate to his body, as if it held untamed strength within its brutish form. This mysterious strength and the awkwardness of his physique added an element of absurd unpredictability to the day-to-day happenings.
For instance, breakfast preparation was a spectacle in itself. His attempts to crack eggs often resulted in an explosion of eggshells shooting across the room. He would then amicably serve the gruel-like breakfast as if nothing had gone awry, his eerily cherubic smile never faltering. The startled students couldn’t help but stifle their giggles, their food forgotten, as they watched Hanson’s unique culinary spectacle.
Later, the butler’s cleaning routine was another parade of accidents waiting to happen. He would sweep with such intensity that it created a whirlwind of dust, causing the students to splutter and choke on their laughter. His mopping technique resulted in a mini-flood within Hell House, making the hallway more like a hazardous water slide. Yet, Hanson remained blissfully oblivious to the disorder he was causing.
His piece de resistance, though, was lighting the fireplace. Given the monstrous strength of his stump, a simple act of striking a match turned into an explosive event, more akin to a firecracker show. The resulting blaze was more bonfire than a cozy fire. The students would sit back, wide-eyed, as the warmth lapped at their faces, the magnitude of the fire a living, breathing testament to Hanson’s hazardous handiwork.
Moreover, Hanson’s interactions with the student guests were comedy gold. His brutish hand inadvertently caused minor mishaps – from bone-crushing handshakes to ripping off the corner of a book when asked to turn a page. The students’ reactions varied from wide-eyed horror to barely concealed laughter, which were met with Hanson’s dimpled, unknowing smile.
Yet, despite their initial terror, the students couldn’t help growing fond of Hanson. His bumbling ways, his eagerness to please, and his complete unawareness of his comedic destruction added a much-needed lightness to the eerie atmosphere of Hell House. Each day was shrouded in anticipation, a silent question always hanging in the air – what would Hanson unintentionally demolish next?
This chapter in their paranormal adventure allowed the students to experience a different kind of horror – a hilarious one. A horror that wasn’t bone-chilling, but side-splitting. Hanson, with his brutish hand and boisterous manner, unknowingly became the comedic relief in a house otherwise brimming with spectral mysteries. Through his not-so-subtle disruptions, the students found brief respite from their haunting fears. Little did they know that the real horrors of Hell House were yet to unfold. But until then, they had Hanson and his slapstick antics to keep them laughing in the face of fear.
Chapter 4: “Paranormal Pranks”
The day had been full of unsettling events; the night was no different. The house creaked and groaned, as if alive with ancient spirits. But all the supernatural spookiness couldn’t bring down the group’s spirits— not when they had a plan at hand. They’d decided to adopt a strategy so audacious it was almost laughable, and that was precisely the point: they’d fight the supernatural with the downright ridiculous.
Cindy, the group’s brave yet scatterbrained blonde, led the charge. She had a theory that humor, in all its outrageous and absurd forms, could confuse and neutralize the spectral presence in the house. And so, the operation they dubiously name “Ghost Guffaw” was launched.
Bobby, the group’s cynical jock, was skeptical, but he was also too spooked to refute any plan that might disrupt their ongoing horror show. On Cindy’s instructions, he plastered the mansion’s corridors with hand-drawn pictures of comedic icons, from slapstick kings like Chaplin to rib-tickling cartoon characters like Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck.
Against the house’s pervasive gloom, these illustrations formed an incongruous collage, seemingly trivializing the supernatural threat. However, Bobby’s sarcastic remarks along with Brenda’s sardonic laughter as they hung these images added an unexpected amusement that the house hadn’t seen in centuries.
Meanwhile, Shorty and Ray, the group’s resident slackers, took a more raucous approach. They staged exaggerated ghost sightings followed by even more exaggerated reactions. They’d shriek at thin air, crawl under tables, and even pretend to be possessed, delivering over-the-top performances worthy of a comedy show. Every spectral moan was met with a large belly laugh, every phantom shadow a playful mockery, and every spectral appearance an opportunity for high-spirited tomfoolery. Their unique defense mechanism against the hauntings was outlandishly humorous and seemed to change the energy in the house.
On the other hand, Alex, the group’s practical leader, was more hesitant about their ridiculous techniques. But seeing the effect their humor was having, she decided to throw her intellectual hesitancy to the wind. She looked into the dusty mansion library and found joke books that were almost as old as the house itself. Reading them aloud in the grand hallway, her voice echoed absurd punchlines, and the house seemed to vibrate with the joyful vibrations of laughter.
Cindy’s plan was unexpectedly working. The house’s eerie atmosphere counterintuitively infused with levity; the hauntings seemed to lessen under their collective laughter. It was as if the spirits didn’t know how to react to the absurdities. Inexplicably, the same actions that were supposed to scare the students now entertained them.
Amidst all this playful chaos, even the house’s crusty one-handed butler, Hanson, couldn’t help but join in the madness. His shenanigans with his brutish hand, previously a source of discomfort, now became another comic act in their grand performance. He threw himself into their prank war, wielding his seemingly supernatural hand in outrageously silly shadow puppet shows that resulted in resounding laughter.
However, the students soon discovered that their plan wasn’t foolproof. Their raucous hilarity attracted more supernatural activity, not less. The spectral echoes grew stronger, the ghostly apparitions more frequent. But instead of retreating in fear, the group took it as a challenge. The hauntings were no longer something to dread but rather a cue to escalate their comedy. Their paranormal prank war was far from over. The house’s chilling draft now echoed with laughter, making the ghostly shenanigans a funny anecdote of their bizarre stay at the Hell House.
Yet, with the increasing paranormal activity, one couldn’t ignore the encroaching sense of foreboding. It seemed, the spirits were not yet done making their presence known…
Chapter 5: “Long Lost Legends”
It was nearing midnight in the Hell House when our group of disparate undergraduates stumbled upon an old dusty library. Shelves, bursting with ancient books and scrolls, lined the room, while a single cobwebbed chandelier gave out an eerie glow. Right in that moment, comedic fear was replaced by a keen sense of curiosity.
A book titled “The Dark Tales of Hell House” caught the eye of Cindy, our protagonist. With an air of dramatic flair, she read aloud the absurdly horrifying tales of the mansion. Her delivery, a perfect blend of high school drama club energy and raw fear, left the group reeling with laughter.
The first legend spoke of a mischievous poltergeist, a whistling ghost known to play pranks on its victims. It whistled the tunes of nursery rhymes before turning everything topsy-turvy. Noteworthy was the account of a Victorian lady who woke up to find her four-poster bed on the ceiling. The image of the lady hanging onto the bed for dear life was so ludicrous, it brought a wave of hilarity among the students.
Next was the tale of a spectral cat with glowing red eyes. This feline spirit had a penchant for yowling melodrama, its choice locations being the rooftops during a full moon. It had a knack for knocking things down in the middle of the night, inducing heart-stopping fright followed by exasperation. The students could already imagine waking up to the dramatic caterwauling and the subsequent spectral annoyance.
However, the legend that tipped the scales of horror towards humor was the story of the headless horseman who had apparently lost his head in a freak croquet accident. He rode aimlessly around the mansion grounds during thunderstorms, using a pumpkin for navigation. The tale went on to narrate how he would occasionally mistake his own pumpkin for another, leaving him in a state of confusion. The mere thought of a ghostly figure, head replaced with a seasonal vegetable, prancing around aimlessly, was laughably bewildering.
As Cindy read these tales loud, each absurd horror story was punctuated by fits of giggles and comedic commentary from the group. The previously terrifying atmosphere of Hell House was now filled with laughter as they found humor in the absurdity of their haunting predicament.
Brenda, the skeptic of the group, pointed out the ridiculousness of their fear. Waving her hands dramatically, she declared that if a ghost with a pumpkin for a head was the worst they had to deal with, they could handle the hauntings with a hearty laugh. Ray agreed, adding mockingly that he was more scared of Cindy’s dramatic storytelling than the prospect of facing any pumpkin-headed apparition.
In the dim light of the library, the group of students laughed heartily at their imagined fears. The dark legends of Hell House, horrifying in their own right, became a source of amusement in the face of their unusual situation. Ghosts and ghouls, once the symbols of their fear, were now the comedic relief in a real-life haunted house tale. If the spectral inhabitants of Hell House could see the merry group, they would have surely been perplexed by the burst of laughter in the midst of their horror-filled domain.
The legends were just that, legends. The situations were absurd, the specters ludicrous and the scares laughable. As the night wore on, the students’ laughter echoed through the house, showing them that sometimes the best way to deal with fear was to find the humor within it. The haunted house that they had entered with trepidation was now a set for their comedy, and every ghostly pranking, a potential punchline. They realized that laughter could ward off the darkest of terrors and went to bed, chuckling at the thought of bumping into the headless horseman or the attention-seeking spectral cat.
Chapter 6: “Ghostly Gags”
As the clock ticked past midnight, the manifesting apparitions in Hell House escalated their supernatural shenanigans. Their ethereal forms began executing an assortment of terrifying tactics, the likes of which had, until now, only been seen in the most horrifying haunted house movies.
However, unbeknownst to these specters, their audience of wily students had evolved from quivering victims into full-fledged comedians. The fear they had initially experienced had mutated into a humorous perception of their spooky surroundings. The once terrifying hauntings became the nightly fodder for the twisted comedy show playing out in their minds.
The students, led by the quick-witted Cindy, transformed each spectral encounter into a punchline, effectively stealing the ghostly thunder. The frightful groans of the ghouls were drowned out by the unabashed laughter that echoed through the mansion’s stone corridors.
One evening, as Ray, the muscular jock of the group, was staring at his reflection in a vintage mirror, a blood-curdling phantom tried to scare him by contorting its ghastly face. Ray, instead of quaking in fear, broke into a fit of laughter. “Man, you gotta brush them teeth. You got morning breath that could wake the dead!”
On another occasion, the drama queen Brenda accompanied by Shorty, the group stoner, were greeted by a headless ghost waving its severed head. Instead of screaming, Brenda hilariously shushed the ghost, “Hey, no talking after lights out!” Shorty, unable to control his fits of giggles, only fueled the hilarity.
The ghosts, increasingly desperate for the desired reaction, scaled up their antics. An eerie poltergeist floated into the room, attempting to levitate the students in their sleep. But, the ever so cheeky Alex, noticing the playful hovering, quipped, “Forget alarm clocks, I need one of these at home!”
Even the chilling whispers that filled the room did not faze these brave jesters. Theo, known for his deadpan comebacks, simply asked the spectral voice, “Ever tried podcasting? You’ve got just the right voice for spooky tales.”
The crowning moment, though, was when the spirit of a long-dead groundskeeper appeared to the group. The ghost, carrying a rusty, bloodstained axe, raised it high, ready to strike fear into their hearts. But Buddy, the class clown, jumped in front of the group, pulled out his phone, and said, “Wait, wait, I gotta get this for TikTok. Axe-wielding ghost gets groovy, hashtag Haunted House Chronicles. Now, on three, say ‘boo!'”
The once-menacing spirits were now the source of the most outrageous comedy ever experienced within the ancient walls of Hell House. The students had unwittingly turned the tables on their ethereal tormentors, finding strength in their shared sense of humor. Amid the spectral chaos and uncanny predicaments, they found a powerful ally in laughter, helping them endure their haunted ordeal.
Chapter 6 concludes, leaving the once deadly serious ghosts bewildered and defeated, their scare tactics repurposed into improvisational comedy. The students’ reactions, having morphed from fright to laughter, taught them a valuable lesson: humor can deflate the most intimidating threats. This realization paved the way for the next dramatic and hysterical stage of their journey in the haunted Hell House. Their homecoming king’s crown now placed on laughter, they braced themselves for the remaining trials in this inexplicably ludicrous adventure.
Chapter 7: “The Secret in the Cellar”
As day faded into night, the dim and flickering lights illuminated the entrance to the hidden cellar. Gathering their courage (and their shared sense of humor), the motley group of students prepared for yet another unpredictable hike into the uncharted territory of Hell House.
Cindy, the blonde with the beautiful eyes yet questionable intelligence, approached the door first. Armed with a flashlight and a frying pan (an object she oddly found reassuring), she opened the door. It creaked ominously, creating an eerie echo that bounced off the mansion’s walls, and amplified their tension.
On their way down the rickety wooden staircase, clumsy Ray managed to step on a squeaky stair, his loud yelp reverberating through the dank cellar. The group erupted in laughter, breaking the thick tension and transforming the eerie quiet into a comical farce.
Within the cellar, they found a cobwebbed space filled with antiquated objects, dusty wine barrels, and old portraits that seemed to watch them with amusement. The place appeared untouched for decades, hiding secrets long forgotten, and soon to be hilariously unearthed.
While the group rummaged through the cellar, Shorty, the ever-curious stoner, found an ancient manuscript titled ‘Exorcism for Dummies’. He began reading aloud, with each ominous word delivered in his urban drawl, turning the ominous chant into a comic stand-up routine. The group dissolved into laughter at this absurd discovery, their fear drowning in the gushing waves of hilarity.
Then, they found it – the heart of the hauntings. A tarnished mirror, veiled in a thick layer of dust and cobwebs.The stories of the mirror’s grim power were said to have been lost in time, but the strange aura around it sent invisible ripples of curiosity through the group.
Cindy dared to approach the mirror, attempting to wipe away the years of filth accumulated on its surface. Before she could even touch it, Hanson, the one-handed butler, emerged from the shadows. His sudden appearance startled Cindy, she let out a scream that was abruptly halted by her own laughter. The sight of Hanson, fumbling around with his brutish hand trying to help, was a sight too comical to ignore.
Snatching the cloth from Cindy’s hand, Hanson attempted to clean the mirror. The dust fought back, causing him to sneeze violently, his unusual hand flapping comically in response. The group’s laughter echoed through the cellar, a light-hearted contrast to the dark secrets it housed.
As Hanson wiped the last bit of grime from the mirror, the reflection revealed was not their own. It was an image of a Victorian-era family, looking grim and somber. The sight should have been chilling, but the father’s absurdly large mustache and the twins’ matching frilly outfits made it more amusing than terrifying.
Even in the heart of horror, the group found endless sources of laughter. The comedic high jinks that followed were an amalgamation of hilarity, fear, and absurdity, creating another unforgettable chapter in their haunted house adventure. Their descent into the darkest corner of Hell House had turned up not a pit of fear, but an unexpected well of laughter.
The chapter concluded with another series of unanticipated and laugh-inducing events. Tori, the tough lady of the group, tripped over a wine bottle, causing a ripple effect that ended with Hanson pinned comically under a pile of musty old rugs. Amidst laughter and relentless teasing, the students left the cellar, their hearts lighter than before and their bonds stronger than ever.
This night, like those before it, ended with laughter echoing through the halls of Hell House. Even the spirits couldn’t dampen their spirit of humor and camaraderie. The mystery of Hell House turned out to be not just a test of their courage, but also a testament to the power of laughter in the face of fear.
Chapter 8: “Exorcising with Laughter”
The atmospheric tension had been gradually building up in the deep belly of the ‘Hell House’ as the students, armed with their unwavering humor, were resolved to face the restless spirits. The anticipation, paralleled with the precarious unpredictability of the house, had led the group to a paradoxical mix of apprehension and rib-tickling hilarity.
As the undergraduate bunch began to formulate their hilariously flawed plan, they unknowingly drove the readers into a state of perplexed amusement. Each character armed themselves with an array of comedic weaponry – everything from rubber chickens to clanging cymbals, and slapstick humor weaponry that had a historically laugh-inducing effect.
Suddenly, the spirit emerged from the shadows, its ethereal form casting an otherworldly glow. Its ferocious roar reverberated through the room, making the furniture tremble. Any ordinary group of people would have been paralyzed by pure terror. However, our unlikely heroes stood firm, armed with their impenetrable humor.
Bobby, the quick-witted prankster of the group, made the first move. With a straight face, he extended a hand to the ghost, offering a joy buzzer handshake. Despite the absurdity of the situation, the ghost took his hand, only to get a harmless electric shock, to which Bobby responded with a hearty, triumphant laugh.
Cindy, the self-appointed leader, began engaging the spirit with a series of jokes that would have knocked anyone dead or alive off their feet. Each punchline landed with an unexpected twist, reducing the spectral figure to confused silence, then forced laughter. The ghost, bewilderingly perplexed, seemed to lose some of its threatening aura.
Next entered Ray, the muscular jock with a heart full of humor. He started a highly unconventional tickling session with a feather, causing the spirit to let out a strange, high-pitched laughter that echoed through the house’s eerie halls. The contagiously funny scenario brought forth roars of laughter from the group, and even the spirit seemed to be enjoying the absurdity of the moment.
The group then enacted a clumsy, poorly synchronized shadow puppet show using the spirit’s light, creating ridiculous shapes that brought an unexpected wave of humor to the grim situation. The ridiculous enactment of a duck chasing a rabbit, cast across the mansion walls, elicited gales of laughter echoing within the house, seemingly driving the haunting aura away.
As the last resort, Hanson, the one-handed butler, clumsily juggled a series of objects, dropping them more often than not. Yet, his failing attempts at juggling, paired with his boisterous laughter at his blunders, proved to be more entertaining than any successful performance.
The group’s hearty laughter filled the room, overpowering the spectral tension that had previously dominated. The spirit, lost in the whirlwind of unexpected comedy, slowly began to fade, its ominous glow diminishing with each passing moment. The once haunting mansion filled with bursts of joyful laughter, each echo chipping away the fear that once resided.
As the climax hit, the spirit managed to let out one last horse-laugh before completely dissipating into nothingness. The Hell House stood spirit-free, the air lighter, and the house that was once haunted with terrifying specters was now haunted with echoes of laughter and an unforgettable comedic victory.
The anticlimactic end to their spectral problem left the students in stitches, their laughter ringing through the mansion’s halls. They celebrated their victory over their fear in their unique, humorously unheroic way, leaving behind a heartwarming message about the power of humor, courage, and friendship. Their ridiculous, comedic adventure in the haunted mansion was a testament to the fact that it’s not the situation but the perspective that crafts the story.
The anticlimactic resolution was a manifestation of laughter truly being the best medicine, even capable of curing haunted mansions of their resident ghosts. It was not just a clash of students against spirits, but a union of fear and laughter, absurdity and courage, leading to an adventure that had the mansion known as ‘Hell House’ crackling with spectral laughter, long after the story came to an end.
Some scenes from the movie Scary Movie 2 written by A.I.
Scene 1
FADE IN:
INT. UNIVERSITY CLASSROOM – DAY
DR. SLAUGHTER (50s, eccentric, slightly maniacal) stands in front of a half-interested class of UNDERGRADUATES.
DR. SLAUGHTER:
(Classroom fills with laughter)
…and that is why sleep deprivation can lead to hallucinations!
CYNTHIA (20s, pretty, intelligent) raises her hand.
CYNTHIA:
Not if we’re too scared to close our eyes, right, Doc?
More laughter. DR. SLAUGHTER takes it in stride.
DR. SLAUGHTER:
(Chuckles)
Exactly, Cynthia. Which brings me to my next announcement.
He pulls out a stack of INVITATIONS, causing the room to quiet.
DR. SLAUGHTER:
I need volunteers for a sleep study. You’ll spend a weekend at my mansion. Make no mistake, it’s not your average house. Locals call it… Hell House.
Gasps and murmurs follow his statement.
CUT TO:
EXT. UNIVERSITY CAMPUS – DAY
Cynthia, BILL (20s, jock-type), ANNIE (20s, shy, studious), and GREG (20s, class clown) walk across campus, invitations in hand.
GREG:
(Grinning)
This sounds more like a dare than a study!
CUT TO:
EXT. HELL HOUSE – DUSK
A grand spooky mansion looming over them as they approach, their laughter fades into nervous anticipation.
FADE OUT.
Scene 2
INT. HELL HOUSE – NIGHT
We see a group of STUDENTS, all eclectic in their own ways, nervously settled in the grand yet decrepit sitting room.
CINDY (18, bubbly, naive, always tries to see the best in everyone) clutches her pillow. Next to her is RAY (19, jock, thinks he’s braver than he is), and across is SHORTY (20, stoner, comic relief) and BRENDA (19, cynical, headstrong).
Cindy looks around, terrified, as the room CREAKS and GROANS around them.
CINDY
So, who thinks this house is really haunted?
Brenda rolls her eyes. Shorty, stoned, giggles.
SHORTY
I think we should be more worried about running out of snacks.
Suddenly, a LOUD COMMOTION is heard upstairs. The group GASPS.
RAY
I’ll go check it out!
Ray gets up, bravely walking towards the stairs. However, his foot catches on the rug, and he trips, tumbling down in a heap. The room bursts out LAUGHING.
BRENDA
Some hero you are!
The laughter subsides as another CREAK echoes. This one sharper, closer. The students shudder, then giggle nervously. As they sit there, laughing amidst their fears, we can’t help but join them. The haunted house study night just got a whole lot scarier, and funnier.
FADE OUT.
Scene 3
FADE IN:
INT. HELL HOUSE – KITCHEN – NIGHT
A group of STUDENTS is gathered around a large, antiquated table. The house creaks in the night breeze, adding to the eerie ambiance as they exchange nervous glances.
Suddenly, the door to the kitchen flies open, and in walks HANSON, a quirky butler with one hand, carrying a tray of soup bowls. His other arm ends with a large, brutish hand. He grins at the students.
HANSON
(cheerfully)
Soup’s up!
As Hanson serves the bowls, he finds it difficult controlling his brutish hand. Soup splatters everywhere but in the bowls, causing the students to DUCK and COVER their food. Laughter breaks the tense atmosphere.
CINDY
(laughing)
You’ve got quite the serving hand, Hanson!
HANSON
(cracking a smile)
Keeps things interesting, doesn’t it?
Suddenly, he mishandles a bowl again. The soup splashes onto SHORTY, who is not pleased. The room erupts into hysterical laughter. Shorty glares at Hanson.
SHORTY
(disgruntled)
Very interesting, Hanson!
FADE OUT:
TO BE CONTINUED…
As the scene ends, viewers are left chuckling at the absurd scenario. Hanson, despite his eeriness, has become a hilarious character, and the students are slowly evolving from scared participants to humorous observers of their situation. The haunted house begins to feel more like a comedy club, with Hanson’s antics as the main act.
Scene 4
INT. HELL HOUSE – STUDENT’S LOUNGE – NIGHT
The STUDENTS huddle together, visibly scared yet determined to stand their ground against the spirits.
CINDY (age 19, pretty, naive, and secretly brave)
What if we fight back? Turn their game against them?
SHORTY (age 21, stoner, surprisingly quick-witted)
You mean like…haunt the haunts?
Shaking heads and chuckles of agreement.
BRENDA (age 20, tough, straightforward)
Alright, then let’s prank those ghostly suckers.
INT. HELL HOUSE – HALLWAY – NIGHT
Students prepare their pranks: buckets of water precariously positioned above doorways, creaky floorboards rigged with whoopee cushions. They set up a tripwire triggering a supersonic blast of rap music.
INT. HELL HOUSE – BRENDA’S ROOM – NIGHT
Brenda sets up a Ouija board, signaling the spirits.
BRENDA
If you’re here, give us a sign!
Suddenly, the room’s desk lamp flickers on. Giggles erupt as Cindy drops the bucket of water from the doorway just as a shadowy figure approaches. The figure FLEES, leaving behind a puddle and laughs.
INT. HELL HOUSE – SHORTY’S ROOM – NIGHT
Shorty lures a poltergeist with a trail of chips leading to a rigged broom closet. As the door creaks open – BAM! The rap music BLASTS. More laughter ensues.
FADE OUT
The night continues with their hilarious counter-measures. Ghostly apparitions left dumbfounded. It’s clear – this is no ordinary haunted house; these are no ordinary students.
TO BE CONTINUED.
Scene 5
INT. HELL HOUSE – LIBRARY – NIGHT
A massive room filled with old books, dimly lit by moonlight. The students, RICKY, LISA, TOM and NANCY, huddle together, gripping candles.
RICKY
(offhand)
This looks like a decent place to do a research paper.
LISA rolls her eyes, but smiles.
LISA
Yeah, if your term paper is on how to have a heart attack.
They laugh nervously, glance around, then spot a colossal painting on the wall. It portrays a grim, old man, the plaque reading: “Lord Hellington, Founder of Hell House.”
NANCY
(reading)
“Underneath this house lies the secret that killed Lord Hellington. He hid his shame in the cellar…”
TOM raises an eyebrow, curious.
TOM
Shame in the cellar? Sounds like my Uncle Jerry.
They all laugh, the tension lessening. RICKY grins.
RICKY
You think it’s true?
LISA
(deadpan)
Only one way to find out.
They share glances. A beat, then they all start laughing, the absurdity of their situation hitting them all at once, the laughter echoing in the spooky library.
FADE OUT.
