“In the world of retail, laughter is always for sale; discover the hilarious chaos behind the counter with Dante and Randal.”
Watch the original version of Clerks
Prologue:
The alarm clock blares, tearing through the silence of the small, slightly cluttered room. Dante reaches out from under his duvet, groaning as he squashes the snooze button. He glances at the clock with bleary eyes. Five more minutes, he thinks to himself. But the clock’s red glaring numbers scream the truth – it’s 5:00 AM, time for work.
Fifteen minutes later, Dante’s ready, albeit reluctantly, to face another day at the Quick Stop convenience store. The sputtering engine of his rundown car adds to the morning cacophony as he embarks on his short but somehow mundane commute, the looming dread of another day of retail tucked into his pocket like an unwanted receipt.
The store, at this hour, was an eerie kind of quiet. The rows of stocked shelves, the dull hum of the refrigerator units, and the flickering lights whisper the same monotonous story Dante has come to despise. He takes a deep breath, turns the lock in the door, and steps inside. Daybreak with Dante has begun. But unknown to him, this won’t be just another day.
Chapter One: “The Regular Morning Mayhem”
Dante flips the sign from ‘Closed’ to ‘Open’, retracing his steps behind the counter, preparing for the day’s first onslaught. He idly wipes down the counter, the mundane task oddly soothing in the silent store. The peace is short-lived, though, as the bell above the door jingles, heralding the arrival of the first customers—a hardy pair of locals known for their boisterous behavior.
They stride in, their gruff voices shattering the morning calm. Dante braces himself, plastering on a courteous smile. They holler their usually unreasonable demands, to which Dante responds with patient nods and strained pleasantries. He serves, they pay, they depart, leaving Dante alone again with a mess to clean up and a sneaking dread of the day to come.
Next, he finds himself stacking the shelves. Randal, his co-worker and friend, ambles in, late as usual, bringing with him the day’s first breath of humor. They exchange their usual morning greeting—an oddly comforting blend of sarcastic jibes and shared grumbles about their jobs.
Randal, unlike Dante, revels in the mundane monotony. He enjoys the simplicity, the routine, and the predictability of it all. While Dante dreams of escaping this town, Randal basks in the lackluster charm of their routine. Together, they are a pair of opposites, their differences binding them tighter than any similarities could.
As they stack and restock, weaving around the store and each other with practiced ease, they discuss their lives—the things they’ve missed out on—peppered with their trademark humor. Randal has a way of turning Dante’s existential crises into a punchline, just as Dante finds a way to ground Randal’s often outlandish flights of fancy with a dose of reality.
The morning proceeds in a flurry of customers, restocking, and their ceaseless banter. The drone of the cash register, the rustle of plastic bags, and the occasional disruptive customer create a symphony of sounds—the chaotic, consumerist melody of their lives.
As the day bleeds into afternoon, Dante and Randal find themselves trudging through the familiar. Little do they know, however, that their ordinary world is about to tilt on its axis, hurtling them into a series of events that will challenge their friendship, test their wit, and force them to confront their deepest fears. But until then, it’s business as usual.
Chapter Two: “Rooftop Hockey Showdown”
The store’s back door creaked open, revealing a bright sunny day above them. Dante and Randal hauled themselves and their battered hockey gear onto the roof, leaving behind the stuffy confines of the store. They couldn’t help but relish in the contrast of their gloomy retail jail and the wide-open rooftop. While the world below hustled and bustled, their rooftop seemed like a deserted, sunlit island in a sea of chaos. It was their sanctuary, an escape from the mundane routine of store life.
“Man, check out that weather. Beautiful day for a game, don’t you think?” Randal said, leaning over the edge of the roof, inspecting the unusually quiet streets. Dante, usually the more responsible one, couldn’t help but agree with his friend’s sentiment.
Their rooftop hockey games were more than just a time-killer, it was a tradition, a symbol of their defiance against their dreary lives. It was on these rooftops where they felt most alive, where the puck served as a round, hollow replacement for dreams they were afraid to chase.
The game kicked off with a high-energy rush. The sound of their laughter echoed through the alleyways, the clattering hockey sticks against the puck reverberating off the buildings around them. Passersby below appeared as mere specks, oblivious to the rooftop spectacle above.
As the game progressed, the intensity ratcheted up. Dante, always the strategist, used sneaky feints and sudden accelerations to outwit Randal. In contrast, Randal relied on his brute force and impromptu techniques, preferring to make up rules as he went along. What the game lacked in finesse, it made up for in sheer unpredictability. It was this raw, chaotic energy that made their rooftop hockey showdowns the cornerstone of their otherwise uneventful lives.
And then, the game was disrupted. A missed shot sent the puck flying over the edge of the roof, landing with a loud thunk on the windshield of a passing car, startling the driver. The pair looked at each other, terror-stricken and wide-eyed. They couldn’t help but burst into a fit of laughter as they retreated from the edge of the roof, hiding from the furious driver below.
Watching the drama unfold beneath, they reveled in the absurdity of it all. They were two grown men playing hockey on the rooftop of a convenience store, disrupting traffic and causing chaos. It was ridiculous, it was juvenile, but it was these moments of madness that made their dreary lives bearable.
Amidst their laughter, their nonsensical conversation, and their wild rooftop games, they found an escape route from their everyday dilemmas. They reveled in these unconventional moments of freedom, where they could be themselves without the judgmental glances of customers, without the constant pressure to maintain the customer service charade. They found solace in their shared understanding, their shared dreams of a life beyond the counter.
The day’s escapade ended with the sun setting and a half-broken hockey stick. As they collected their gear and descended the stairs back to reality, they held onto the high from their rooftop adventure. In the end, it was these bursts of laughter, these moments of raw, unfiltered life, which added color to their otherwise monotonous black and white existence. Today’s showdown had been another unforgettable chapter in their rooftop saga, a story of dreams, delinquency, and defiance.
But as they returned to the store, they knew that the harsh fluorescent lights would remind them of their reality. They locked the back door, their small act of rebellion now a memory. The real world waited for them on the other side with demanding customers and endless aisles of products. Even though the thought was depressing, they knew they had the rooftop and their hockey games – their escape, their solace. They always had that.
With the clatter and clink of real life setting in, Dante and Randal looked at each other, a shared smile of acknowledgement passing between them. Another day, another game, and the knowledge that they could always escape for a while, even if it was just onto a rooftop. Their sanctuary amidst the chaos of the everyday. It was their game, their rules; their world, even if it was only for a few hours.
Chapter Three: “Unexpected Visit to the Funeral Home”
Dante and Randal were busy in their usual banter when Randal’s phone chimed, interrupting their ongoing debate about the best brand of potato chips. Randal’s face paled as he read the message on the screen. “Dude, Billy passed away,” he said, showing Dante the text message. Dante’s initial reaction was restrained laughter, convinced that it was another one of their mutual friends’ pranks. But as Randal dialed the given number and his face twisted into a grimace, the reality of the situation sank in.
Their decision to attend the funeral was a mix of disbelief and a strange sense of obligation. Randal insisted that despite their differences, they owed it to Billy for the basketball matches he’d won for them back in their school days. Dante, however, was more skeptical, citing their lack of knowledge on anything related to funerals, but Randal dragged him along, promising that it would be a ‘learning experience.’
And thus, begins their ill-planned journey. They arrived at the funeral home, dressed in the best they could manage from their limited wardrobe – Dante in a wrinkled black suit and Randal in a black t-shirt with an ironically cheerful cartoon character which had seen better days and a pair of worn-out jeans.
The moment they stepped into the funeral home, their casual attire and laid-back demeanor stuck out like sore thumbs. Randal’s inappropriate t-shirt drew disapproving looks but seemed blissfully ignorant, or maybe chose to ignore. Dante, on the other hand, was clearly out of his comfort zone, constantly adjusting his tie and scanning the room as if finding an exit strategy.
It was when they were paying their respects to Billy that their unfamiliarity with the etiquette of funeral homes became evident. Both stood awkwardly near the casket, glancing sideways at relatives for any hint on proper respect-paying protocol. Dante finally decided to mimic the solemn nods and the somber whispers he noticed around him. Randal, however, went on to make a grave faux pas. He patted Billy’s deceased body, murmuring, “You were a good man, Billy. Terrible at poker but good at hoops.”
Silence swept across the room as everyone turned to look at them, their disapproving glares making Dante’s face redder than his convenience store uniform. He pulled Randal away from the casket, hissing apologies to everyone within earshot before trying to find a corner far away from judgmental eyes.
Their out-of-place behavior continued as they partook in the reception following the formal ceremony. Randal’s unfiltered comments about the quality of food made the rounds among the already offended attendees. Dante, trying his best not to cause further damage, was left to apologize for Randal’s words repeatedly.
Just when Dante thought they had reached the peak of their embarrassment, Randal decided to lighten the mood. He started to recount tales of their school days with Billy, embellishing them with their humorous escapades and oddball antics. The stories, although inappropriate for the occasion, brought a reluctant smile to some faces, including Dante’s.
And that’s when it hit him – through their inappropriate comments, unconventional attire, and misplaced jokes, Dante and Randal had brought something the funeral had been lacking – a celebration of Billy’s life, albeit in their strange, clumsy way.
Their antics had initially brought disapproval, but as the reception ended, a few guests even complimented their lively stories about Billy. Despite their ineptitude at funeral etiquette, Dante and Randal had managed to remind people of the fun-loving spirit of their late friend.
Their hilarious and unexpected visit to the funeral home may have been filled with awkward moments and inappropriate jokes. Still, it also underscored their authentic, if the unorthodox, way of dealing with somber situations – by adding a dash of humor, and some heart, to lighten it up.
As they left the funeral home, Dante couldn’t help but laugh at the absurdity of their day. He glanced at Randal, who had a satisfied grin on his face, and realized that despite everything, they had managed to pay their respects to Billy in their own, unique way.
Chapter Four: “Love Affairs and Convenience Store Confessions”
The sun had lost its intensity by the time Randal nudged Dante, clutching a magazine as he lounged on the counter. “Hey, Dante, what’s this crap about Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt?”
Dante looked over, rolling his eyes, “Just another celebrity couple on the rocks. Move on, Randal; it’s not like they are holding any significance in our lives.”
Randal smirked, “Oh, aren’t they? Look here, pal,” he pointed to Dante’s grimacing face, “Aren’t you and Veronica like the ‘Brad-Jen’ of our humble convenience store?”
Randal’s analogy elicited a snort of amusement from Dante, and that set the tone for their conversation — an intimate mix of mockery and honesty, punctuated with comical undertones and often insightful observations.
Their conversation wandered amidst the mundane and the profound, like the unlikely products stacked haphazardly on the store shelves — cheap plastic toys, expensive whiskey, health supplements, and candy bars. Their love lives, much like the store they tended to, were a chaotic mix of unexpected sweetness and disappointing letdowns.
Dante oscillated between his relationship’s stability and the desire for something more exciting. He shared tales of Veronica’s warmth, her tenacity, her home-cooked lasagna but wondered if the comfort of familiarity was gradually mutating into the burden of predictability. Dante, amidst half-empty cartons of milk and fading receipts, was grappling with existential questions of love and longing.
Randal listened, occasionally punctuating Dante’s narrative with his dry humor, “So, you mean to tell me, instead of being happy with a girl who bakes you lasagna, you’re lusting after the exotic sushi of unattainable women? Man, you’re screwed up!”
This was classic Randal — quirky, crude, yet strangely philosophical. His candidness offset Dante’s introspective seriousness perfectly, keeping the conversation from souring into a despondent monologue.
As the night drew in, and the store’s fluorescent light cast long, lonely shadows, Randal opened up about his love life, or rather, lack thereof.
“Here’s the thing, Dante,” he began, his tone sobering, “I don’t want to be like those old guys who come here every day, buying cheap booze, longing for a chat, a laugh, or maybe just a break. I don’t want my ‘love life’ to be an endless series of one-night stands.”
Dante, in a rare moment, found himself empathizing with Randal. Despite their contrasting personalities, they shared this strange existential dread — the fear of a life lived with unfulfilled desires and unexplored opportunities.
As bittersweet as their musings were, Dante and Randal’s exchanges breathed life into the empty store. Just two men navigating their way through love and life against a soundtrack of humdrum retail routine. Their shared stories and fears, their combined wisdom and folly, made the store more than just a place of trade — it became a sanctuary for the human experience in all its absurdity.
Chapter Four, as it unfolded, was not merely about love confessions or Dante’s romantic discontent. It marked a pivotal juncture in the narrative arc where Dante and Randal, our perfectly flawed protagonists, saw their lives mirrored in each other, revealing profound truths within their mundane existence.
Chapter Five: “Customers Strike Back”
The chapter opens with Dante meticulously aligning chocolate bars on the shelves, an image of drudgery painted with multi-colored wrappers. His movements are mechanical, the familiarity of his routine etched into his muscle memory. Across the counter, Randal is engrossed in his comic book, the tense atmosphere only broken by the sarcastic comments he occasionally throws Dante’s way.
Suddenly, the peace is shattered as the door swings open with a loud jangle of the overhead bells. The first customer of this chapter, a middle-aged woman with a frizzy mane of hair and red-rimmed glasses, marches up to the counter. She slams a jumbo bag of chips onto it, proclaiming it defective because all the chips are crushed.
Dante glances at Randal who returns a smirk and a shrug, a silent agreement passing between them. Dante attempts to explain that the store cannot exchange products based on their contents’ condition. The woman, incensed, unleashes a barrage of complaints. Randal can’t resist throwing in a sarcastic remark, turning the situation into a comedic spectacle, much to the woman’s chagrin.
The commotion draws in more customers searching for some midday entertainment. As Dante and the fuming woman engage in a ludicrous debate over chip quality, Randal amuses the growing crowd with his witty commentary and exaggerated gestures.
Next in line is a young man wanting to return a movie he rented the previous day, insisting it was “so bad that it physically pained him to watch.” Randal, ever the provocateur, challenges him to an impromptu debate on the film’s merits. The store transforms into a bizarre courtroom, with customers serving as an unsolicited jury. The ridiculousness escalates as Dante finds himself playing the role of a makeshift judge, trying without much success, to maintain order.
As the afternoon progresses, the stream of customers doesn’t cease. After dealing with a series of absurd return requests, including one for an ice-cream because it “melted too fast”, Dante and Randal find themselves questioning their sanity and the nature of their job.
Behind the humor and the absurdity of their job, a sense of frustration simmered. The monotony of their job, the thankless interactions, and the endless stream of unreasonable customers were gradually eroding their enthusiasm. Yet, the duo trudged on, their sarcastic humor and shared camaraderie contributing an appealing charm to this seemingly mundane day.
In this chapter, the store becomes a stage for Dante and Randal to perform their dry-wit routine, their humor and absurd interactions with customers mirroring the frustrations of retail work. However, beneath the comedy, there is a tinge of melancholy, a realization of the uneventful reality of their lives.
The chapter ends on a high note with Randal humorously reciting a self-made “ode to the retail worker,” with Dante playing the reluctant audience. Blissfully unaware, they find their comedic relief, not realizing their day was about to take another unexpected turn as the evening crowd trickles in.
Throughout the chapter “Customers Strike Back,” the narrative vividly captures Dante and Randal’s comedic coping mechanisms, their unique view on their unremarkable lives, and their shared bond. Amidst the laughter and bizarre customer interactions, the reader is subtly reminded of the discontent brewing underneath and the duo’s yearning for a life beyond the convenience store counter.
Chapter Six: “Late-night Longings”
As the evening calm descended on the convenience store, Dante and Randal found themselves with a momentary lull in their usual chaos. This wasn’t a tranquil serenity; it was the kind of silence that bore the weight of the day, filled with the echoes of the day’s conversations — their sharp wit, their sarcastic banter, and the rhythmic sound of their banal chores.
The store, once buzzing with customers — the quirky, the obnoxious, the inexplicably worried about their video returns — was now their stage. The fluorescent lights, the aisle of candy, and the old popcorn machine served as their ethereal background. With the storefront sign flipped to ‘closed’, the duo found a rare respite from responsibility.
The collective exhaustion of the day had set in, and Randal, sturdier of the two, rested his back on the counter while Dante quietly locked the front door. Dante was staring out into the night, lost in his thoughts. It was the end of yet another day that seemed no different than the day before – a day filled with the ennui of retail monotony and a ceiling on aspirations that felt as low as the drop-tiles above them.
“Dante,” Randal’s voice drifted over the silence, breaking Dante’s thoughts. “You ever think about getting out of this place, leaving everything behind? Just packing up and moving?”
Dante turned, leaning against the door, looking at Randal, his eyes reflecting seriousness that belied his usual demeanor. “Every day, Randal. Every single day.” Randal’s question had hit a nerve. The duo had joked about their seemingly uneventful lives, but the truth of their existential frustrations was something they rarely explored.
Randal nodded, flipping a pen skillfully between his fingers. “But here’s the catch,” he said, his eyes affixed on the darkened ceiling. “If we leave, move away to someplace exciting, won’t we eventually end up in the same rut? Living a life that’s just as monotonous, just with a different backdrop?”
The profundity of Randal’s words hung in the air, a painful reminder of their stifled dreams. A mournful laugh escaped Dante’s lips. “Who knew? Randal, the philosopher, huh?” It was easier to deflect with humor than to acknowledge the truth embedded in Randal’s words.
Their conversation was interrupted by the sound of glass shattering. A stray hockey puck, a souvenir from their rooftop escapade, had knocked off a soda bottle. They shared a glance and burst into laughter, the seriousness of their introspection evaporating in the hilarity of the moment.
Life at the convenience store was a mix of the mundanity of work, humorous antics, and now, moments of striking self-awareness. These erratic patterns of their everyday existence were exactly what kept them tied to this seemingly ordinary convenience store.
As the chapter concludes, Dante and Randal find solace in their shared experience. The night deepens, and as they clean up the broken glass, their laughter echoes around the empty store – a testament to their camaraderie, their shared dreams, and their resilience.
Throughout this chapter, the complexity of their characters unravels. They are not just the witty, potty-mouthed clerks. They are two individuals, each with their own aspirations, fears, and regrets, bound by their shared grapples with feeling stuck in life. In their shared longing for more, they find laughter, companionship, and the absurdity of their existence. In their shared world, they are more than just clerks; they are the chroniclers of the eccentricities of small-town life. They are the champions of the forgotten narratives of the convenience store.
Chapter Seven: “The Chaos Before Closing”
The day was slowly winding down on the mismatched clock hanging crooked on the candy-colored wall. The army of soda cans lining the refrigeration units hummed in the background. Dante and Randal, still in their matching uniforms and slightly worn-out demeanors, were gearing up for the usual closing routine. The familiarity of their task did nothing to cancel out the dull drudgery associated with it.
“Another day, another dollar wasted,” Randal commented sardonically, fumbling with a roll of receipt paper. It had been a rollercoaster of a day, filled with riotous events – the hockey game on the roof, the funeral, the confessions of love, and the onslaught of irate customers. Dante couldn’t decide whether to laugh or sigh deeply at the memories while he reflexively counted the remaining dollar bills in the cash register.
Before Dante could respond or engage in another of their habitual philosophical debates, the bell above the door tinkled obstinately, signaling the arrival of another customer. He looked up, prepared to give his patented “we’re almost closing” line, when he realized who had walked in the store.
It was Veronica, Dante’s long-time girlfriend. Her curly hair was tighter than usual, and her lips were pursed in a way that Dante knew all too well – a clear sign she was upset. He gulped audibly, setting aside the money to address the new and unexpected twist in his already packed day.
Randal, the forever instigator, leaned back against the counter, arms folded and an impish grin on his face. He was always game for a good spectacle and Dante’s relationship drama was no different.
The ensuing conversation between Dante and Veronica was a chaotic mix of accusations, rebuttals, and revelations. In the middle of their heated discussion, as if on cue, the same obnoxious duo from the morning dashed in with a chaotic energy, further escalating the tension. They were arguing about a video tape, one screaming about the incorrect labeling while the other tried to pacify his friend by blaming it on the clerks.
As the cacophony of voices echoed around the store, Dante found himself immersed in a world of absurdity. The day’s events whirled around his mind like a tornado. He took a moment to absorb the chaotic atmosphere – the customers’ face reddening with anger, Veronica’s frustrated expression, Randal’s poorly disguised mirth, the flickering lights reflecting off the polished convenience store floor. In that moment, he realized that his mundane, quotidien life was anything but. It was an uncommon blend of chaotic hilarity, philosophical wisdom, and heartfelt moments, all taking place within the confines of the convenience store.
After a roller coaster of emotions and incidents, the store was finally restored to its usual semi-calm state. Dante and Randal waved goodbye to the last customer of the night and shared a look of mutual exhaustion and contentment. One could argue that the day was a great comedy of errors, but for Dante and Randal, it was just another day at the store.
As they finally locked up, Dante couldn’t help but say, “Just another normal day in our extraordinary lives, huh?”
Randal smirked, his eyes twinkling with unspoken amusement, “Absolutely. After all, we’re not even supposed to be here today.”
The laughter that followed echoed into the night, a reminder of the paradoxical beauty of their ordinary life – a life filled with wit, sarcasm, and endearing moments that made their monotonous job a hilarious journey.
The end of the day was just like the beginning – filled with the promise of more battles to be fought, more stories to be told, and more laughs to be shared. As Dante and Randal disappeared into the night, one couldn’t help but anticipate the dawn of another day in the lives of these chaotic, entertaining, and wonderfully ordinary Clerks.
Some scenes from the movie Clerks written by A.I.
Scene 1
FADE IN:
INT. QUICK STOP – MORNING
DANTE, an underpaid, overworked clerk, stands behind the counter, brewing coffee. Behind him, RANDAL, a laid-back video store clerk, is restocking shelves while mumbling under his breath.
DANTE:
Randal, remind me again why we’re doing this?
RANDAL:
(smirks)
Because, Dante, you have an uncanny knack for choosing the most mind-numbing jobs.
Dante rolls his eyes, serving coffee to the FIRST CUSTOMER, a grumpy-looking man, who complains about the coffee being too weak.
DANTE:
(apologetic)
We’ll make it stronger next time, sir.
The SECOND CUSTOMER, a chatty woman, enters the store and begins a tirade about late fees.
SECOND CUSTOMER:
(annoyed)
I swear I returned that video on time!
RANDAL:
(sarcastically)
Sure, ma’am. And my pet unicorn’s called Sparkles.
DANTE:
(smirks, whispers)
Real subtle, Randal.
Their banter continues, punctuated with the intermittent complaints of customers, establishing their mundane work life. This scene sets up the seemingly dull day Dante and Randal are about to face, but also hints at the amusing chaos to come.
FADE OUT.
Scene 2
EXT. ROOFTOP – DAY
Dante and Randal stand at the edge of the building, holding hockey sticks and gazing down at the neighborhood. The air is filled with dread monotony.
DANTE
You know, we could have been something great, Randal. If only we weren’t stuck in this damned store.
RANDAL
(laughs)
Speak for yourself, Dante. I’m living the dream.
Dante smacks a hockey puck across the rooftop.
DANTE
You’re unbelievable, you know that?
Randal runs to the other side, attempting to block the puck, but fails miserably. He chuckles.
RANDAL
You got to admit though, this is better than dealing with those customers down there.
They continue playing, hockey sticks clashing and laughter echoing.
Then, a window SHATTERS. The puck had gone over the edge of the rooftop and into a neighbor’s window. They stare at each other, shocked and then burst into laughter.
A WOMAN screams below.
WOMAN (OFF SCREEN)
I’m calling the police!
They freeze, a combination of horror and amusement spreading across Dante’s face while Randal is still trying to suppress his laughter.
RANDAL
(laughs)
Well, that escalated quickly.
FADE OUT:
TO BE CONTINUED…
Scene 3
INT. QUICK STOP – DAY
Dante and Randal, behind the counter, read a newspaper obituary. The bell above the door rings as a CUSTOMER walks in.
RANDAL
(reading obituary)
Hey, Dante, didn’t you go to school with this guy?
Dante takes the newspaper, scanning the obituary.
DANTE
Oh, damn. Yeah, I did.
A beat.
RANDAL
We should pay our respects.
Dante looks to Randal, incredulous.
DANTE
You want to go to a funeral?
Randal shrugs, tossing a pack of cigarettes to the Customer.
RANDAL
Why not? It’s not like we have anything better to do.
CUT TO:
EXT. FUNERAL HOME – DAY
The boys, in their store uniforms, stand out among the well-dressed MOURNERS.
INT. FUNERAL HOME – CONTINUOUS
As they enter, Dante bumps into a FLOWER STAND, knocking over a vase. WATER spreads across the floor. Randal stifles a laugh.
Dante and Randal sit in the back row, trying to blend in. The PRIEST begins to eulogize.
Dante’s PHONE RINGS. The room goes silent. Dante fumbles, finally shutting it off. The Priest gives him a stern look before continuing.
Randal leans over to Dante.
RANDAL
(whispering)
You should have put it on silent.
Dante gives Randal a deadly look. Randal chuckles.
As they stand to pay their respects, Dante slips on the water, causing the CASKET to shake.
MOURNERS GASPS. Randal helps Dante up, both laughing uncomfortably.
RANDAL
Well, we certainly made that memorable.
FADE OUT.
Scene 4
INT. CONVENIENCE STORE – DAY
DANTE, late 20s, is stocking shelves while his co-worker, RANDAL, aloof and chill, lounges at the counter reading a magazine.
DANTE
(Randal, teasingly)
You know, you could offer to help instead of just perching there like an annoying parrot.
RANDAL
(laughs)
And why would I deny you the joy of manual labor?
They share a smile, then a beat of silence.
DANTE
(sighs, uncertainly)
Randal, do you ever think about love?
RANDAL
(squints)
Are you seriously being philosophical in between stacking cans of baked beans?
DANTE
(ignoring)
It’s just… (he hesitates) …do you think Veronica is the one?
RANDAL
(raising an eyebrow)
Well, you’ve been together for years, so…
DANTE
But what if there’s someone else?
Randal looks perplexed.
RANDAL
(skeptically)
Are you seeing someone else, Dante?
Dante looks at Randal, a serious expression on his face.
DANTE
No, but what if hypothetically I was?
Randal leans back, ponders for a moment, and then…
RANDAL
(matter-of-factly)
Well then, you’d just be a two-timing hypocrite wouldn’t you?
Dante looks taken aback. Randal chuckles. Beat.
RANDAL
(smiling)
My advice? Just be honest, man, with yourself and with her. No one deserves to be left in the dark.
Silence follows as Dante contemplates his words. Suddenly, the door chimes, breaking their solemn moment.
Randal stands up, stretching.
RANDAL
Break over. Let the madness commence!
Randal heads towards the door, leaving Dante alone with his thoughts. The tension grows, promising an interesting turn to follow in Dante’s love life. FADE OUT.
Scene 5
INT. QUICK STOP GROCERIES – DAY
DANTE, mid-20s, disinterested clerk, observes a CUSTOMER, a little too picky, examining a pack of cigarettes with a magnifying glass.
RANDAL, Dante’s best friend and video store clerk, watches in amusement, leans on the counter, a smirk on his face.
RANDAL
(whispering)
Ten bucks says he’s gonna ask for a refund.
DANTE
(low)
You’re on.
CUSTOMER
(turns to Dante)
These seem stale. I want to exchange them.
Dante glances at Randal, who chuckles, pockets the ten bucks.
DANTE
(sarcastic)
Sure, and would you like them farm-fresh or factory-made?
Next in line, is a LADY, 60s, she puts a gallon of milk on the counter.
LADY
Is this non-fat?
RANDAL
(laughs)
Non-fat? Ma’am, this is as full-fat as it gets!
Lady looks taken aback, but chuckles at Randal’s audacity.
Just then, TWO TEENAGERS walk in, grinning, holding up a video cassette.
TEENAGER
Hey, we want to exchange this.
Randal squints at the cassette.
RANDAL
(smiling)
And why would that be?
TEENAGER
(laughs)
We’ve already watched it three times!
Randal and Dante exchange a look, erupt into laughter as the bell tinkles, indicating the door closing behind another misunderstood customer.
FADE OUT.
